


If I’m Not A Fool For You

by reptiley



Series: Warm Sun [2]
Category: Original Work
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Famnesia game, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, sol has no idea what is going on forgive him
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-30
Updated: 2019-09-15
Packaged: 2020-09-07 09:02:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 9,996
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20306905
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/reptiley/pseuds/reptiley
Summary: Sol accidentally takes a stranger's notebook. He falls in love with the stranger's vision.





	1. I'm Not Calling You a Thief

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title comes from the same song as Niles' POV <3

It took four weeks of classes for Sol to be late to one. He thought he’d be able to keep his early schedule but he stayed up for an extra hour last night and now he’s running late. Not that professor Poole cares, but  _ he  _ cares. What if he misses something important? What if they assign work or teams or have a pop quiz and he’s not there and never finds out and fails the class? Sol shakes his head, trying to get rid of the anxious thoughts beginning to overwhelm him. He’s arrived at the building and he’s only two minutes late. If he walks briskly he’ll be in class in another two minutes, only four minutes late. He exhales in relief. 

He walks into the room to find his usual seat taken. He doesn’t want to bother anyone so he looks around for an empty seat closer to the door. He finds an empty one next to a deep red tiefling who currently seems preoccupied pouring an energy drink into his thermos? That’s too much caffeine, but he can’t judge what other people do to stay awake. He figures he can sit next to this guy and ask if something’s happened in the last four minutes. When he glances over at the other guy’s notebook and sees he’s only written the date, all his remaining anxiety is washed away. Poole is going over what seems like the first slide of the day, so Sol focuses on that instead.

His classmate is either too stressed or too caffeinated. His leg hasn’t stopped bouncing but he looks stiff as a board. When he gets up to throw away his empty can, Sol remembers he’s the guy who mixed his coffee with a full energy drink. He can’t blame the guy. He quickly grabs his notebook and loose papers and shoves them all onto his backpack. He doesn’t want to be late to a second class today. He hurries out of the classroom, closing the zipper as we walks out the door.

His next class is History. He’s early, so he calmly finds his seat, fishes out his notebook and opens it on a random page, looking for a clean one. The margins are full of doodles. These notes are not his handwriting. When he looks closely there’s a small face of someone that sort of looks like him. Actually, there’s several in some pages. He continues looking through the pages, finding some more elaborate drawings on pages with no notes on them. He’s fascinated, almost entranced by them. There’s one full page that’s just his face. It’s like looking in a black and grey mirror. He’s smiling, and he’s not wearing glasses. It’s beautiful. Whoever did this is incredibly talented. Speaking of which, he doesn’t know who did this. He closes the notebook hoping there’s some kind of hint on the cover. There is. Written in sharpie at the bottom left corner are the words 

_ Classical Lit _ _   
_ _ Niles Dayla _

Sol doesn’t think he knows Niles. He does know there’s a Mr. Dayla, but he can’t quite place him. Then he remembers he was late today and sat somewhere else so Niles is probably the tiefling who likes to pour entire energy drinks into his coffee. He’ll have to apologize tomorrow. He might ask Mr. Dayla if he does commissions, too, if those are doodles he wants to see the full pieces.

The rest of his day goes by uneventfully, but he’s so tired by the time he’s leaving campus he almost falls asleep on the bus and misses his stop. He barely manages to eat some dinner, and almost immediately goes to bed. He intended it to be a nap but when he opens his eyes is pitch dark out. He’s tired and wants to go back to sleep but he thinks of getting a glass of water and out of his day clothes before that.

Then there’s a noise.

It sounds like...a zipper? It’s close. Is someone inside his apartment? Sol is suddenly awake and alert. He stands up and goes out into the living room, flipping the switch as he goes without really thinking about it. When his eyes adjust to the light he can see that there is indeed someone here. He’s crouching next to his backpack and squinting at Sol’s History notebook. His hoodie is off so Sol can recognize Niles, the tiefling from this morning. In Sol’s sleepy brain, it makes sense, he’s looking for his notebook. He walks over to him and crouches next to him, quickly finding Niles’s own notebook and handing it to him. He takes the other one and places it back inside his backpack. 

“I was going to give it back tomorrow, you know?” he says, sleep still heavy in his voice.

Niles looks like he’s been frozen in place, Sol just stands up and pats his back before going to get his glass of water. He gets another one for Niles.

“I’m sorry I took it when I left for History. I was a mess the whole morning, I didn’t mean to…” He stops to think about why Niles is there. “But then again,” he says “you didn’t have to break into my place to steal it back. We have class tomorrow, Niles,” he says, almost accusatory.

He holds out one of the glasses, but the other man is slowly walking backwards to the door so Sol just places it down on the counter with a shrug. He can tell he’s uneasy, nervous, worried? It’s an unusual situation but Sol doesn’t think it’s necessary to call the police for a notebook, and tries to explain as much.

“You don’t have to worry, I won’t call the police,” he says and then thinks about it for a second before adding: “You don’t have to go if you don’t have a place to stay, I know you weren’t actually stealing from me.” But Niles is still taking the tiniest steps backwards.

Then he bumps into the shoes he’d left at the door. Sol doesn’t question it, he just watches as Niles slips them on without even looking and before he can miss his chance Sol says, “Thank you, by the way.”

Niles stops, frozen where he stands once again, and looks back at him, tilting his head adorably and letting out a barely audible “Oh?”

“I really like the way you draw my smile. Most people would focus on the tusks too much and it’s kind of weird. But you don’t, I like it.” He smiles and finishes his glass of water. Niles is still there. Standing still with a confused, maybe disappointed look on his face. Sol thinks maybe he doesn’t like sharing his art and he tries to explain. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to. It just looks exactly like my history notebook and I opened it before I even noticed it wasn’t mine. Are you an art major?”

The tiefling doesn’t answer. All he says is “sorry” before walking out the door, and closing it behind himself. Sol can’t help but feel like he did something wrong. The logical part of his brain tells him that it’s his place that just got broken into. He goes back to bed before he can overthink it, he will see the tiefling in class the next day and he can apologize and ask for an explanation then. 


	2. Don't You Dare

Sol wakes up way too early the next morning but he figures he owes it to going to bed so early the day before. He showers and has breakfast like he always does. He finds a glass full of water on the kitchen counter and remembers the events of the previous night.  _ Wasn’t a dream, after all. _ He thinks of getting an energy drink as a peace offering. He doesn’t know much about Mr. Dayla but he knows he likes his coffee turned into an atrocity so he stops t get one on his way to the bus stop.

Sol takes the same seat he took the day before but Niles doesn’t show up to class. Sol looks around the classroom for the first half of the lecture, but never finds him. 

_ He didn’t look sick last night, so why isn’t he here? Did he oversleep? _ He doesn’t know where he lives so maybe the journey home was long. He goes over their interaction in his head and starts to worry he might have scared the other one away.  _ He looked like a deer in headlights. Granted he was in my place and I never invited him in...how did he get in? how many talents does this guy have? he certainly looked a little paler when i mentioned I liked his drawings. Maybe he really doesn’t like sharing his art. That’s sad, it’s  _ ** _so _ ** _ good, it should be shared. I hope he’s not dropping the class. Would he do that just because of me? No, that’s ridiculous. It’s okay, he probably overslept. Isn’t that what the drink is for, though? Oh, wow. He hates me that much, huh?  _

Sol shakes his head, he doesn’t know how much of the lecture he’s missed being caught up in his anxious train of thoughts but he feels a bit dizzy from it. He tells himself what he’s thinking can’t be true, it’s just his brain being insane. 

The energy drink ends up back in his fridge. He doesn’t think he’ll ever drink it but he can’t let it go to waste.

* * *

He takes his usual seat the next day. He manages to look around the classroom only once during class but he spots Niles back in his seat and smiles at the fact that he’s still there. He makes a mental note to catch him later.

As soon as Poole dismisses class, he hurries to pack up his stuff, making sure he only takes his own notebooks and agenda. He catches Niles as he’s walking to the door, and places a hand on his shoulder.

The tiefling jumps, dropping his notebook. Sol quickly goes to pick it up and give it back. “Sorry! I didn’t mean to scare you.” Niles stares blankly back at him so he continues. “I’m… I, well… You ran away so fast on Tuesday and you didn’t come to class yesterday. I was a bit worried so I guess I’m just checking in with you? Is everything okay, Niles? Can I call you Niles?”

After a few long seconds of the tiefling just blinking at him he gets a reply. 

“I’m okay.” It’s short and sharp and Sol thinks this man  _ really  _ hates him. He doesn’t know what to say. He hopes he didn’t wince, and that, if he did, Niles doesn’t know him well enough to catch it. He decides to think about the pang he feels later.

“Well that’s good to-”

“Sol! You coming?” he’s interrupted by Frog. When he looks back at Niles, the tiefling just nods at him and walks away. Sol curses his friend in his mind, but it’s not his fault. He lets Niles go and goes back to his friends. He’ll try again later.

Lunch with the guys is almost the same as usual. Frog mentions he interrupted Sol talking to some guy from their Classical Lit class and he stammers saying it was okay and not a big deal, so of course everyone makes a big deal out of it. They ask about him, and Sol is not sure if he should tell them the circumstances under which they officially met, but he mentions that the guy’s an artist and lets it slip that he thinks he’s cute. 

“Yeah, that’s why I’m apologizing,” Frog says “I saw the look on your face when you turned, and I saw the guy when you walked away. He’s definitely cute.” He wiggles his eyebrows and Sol rolls his eyes.

“Ooh, so who’s the cutie? Do we know him?” Simone chimes in.

Sol sighs, knowing where this is going to end. He abstains from answering so Frog does it for him.

“You know, uh, tiefling, red skin, dark hair, I don’t know him as well as our friend Sol here,” he says lightly nudging Sol’s arm. “What’s his name? Dayson? Dallas?”

“Niles,” Sol tells the table where he’s now laying face down on his arms, to hide his deep blush. “Niles Dayla.”

“Wait, I know a Dayla.” Simone says, and Sol can feel his ears perk up involuntarily. “An artist! Yes! He always has lunch with the cute light pink tiefling? Uhhh, Abigail. She’s in my Astronomy class. They seem very close.”  _ Oh.  _ Sol can hear her slam a hand over her own mouth but it’s too late.

Everyone goes silent. Sol feels nauseous all of a sudden. His blush is gone, replaced by an invisible weight. There’s a hand on his back. He looks up at his friends. They all look a bit sadder than they did a few minutes earlier. He doesn’t say a word. He doesn’t want them to pity him. 

“I’ve never seen them kiss or anything, though!” Simone tries and half the table hushes her.

Someone starts talking about math or geography or history and Sol tunes it out. He never should’ve gotten his hopes up. Yeah, the guy may have had a few drawings of him, but he knows some artists just have fun doing a kind of face or perfecting several instances of the same face. After all, if Niles was drawing in class he probably needed a face he could see, nothing more.

* * *

Sol doesn’t get to ‘try talking to Niles again later’ for another week because Niles keeps arriving late to class and disappearing as soon as the phrase “That’s it for today” leaves Poole’s mouth. 

So he decides he’s just going to sit down next to the guy next class. And he does. He waits for him to get to class and, casually as he can, sits down next to him as soon as he’s settled. When he turns to face him, Sol is suddenly intimidated and only manages to mouth out a ‘hey’ and smile at him. He wouldn’t say the tiefling is intimidating, not really. Sol knows he’s the stronger one, but there’s something about the other one that seems to hold some kind of power over him. Maybe it’s the horns? Sol knows a lot of people with horns, that can’t be it. Upon thinking about it he justifies it as just being wary of the guy that literally broke into his house. He should maybe change the lock. Probably. He ignores the part of his brain that asks how Niles would get in if he did that. He might be able to pick the new lock. He needs to stop letting his brain run away with thoughts like that. 

Sol snaps out of it at the sound of professor Poole’s voice. He smacks himself mentally for letting the opportunity of talking to the guy go and decides to get it over with and just write him a note on a piece of paper like a fifth grader.

He passes it to the table next to him and looks to the front, pretending to pay attention, but not even listening to whatever Poole was ranting about now. He doesn’t know if Niles hasn’t read it or just hasn’t replied when it takes him longer than two minutes. He tries to keep his side glances discreet but has no way of knowing how successful he’s being.

When he gets the note back, there’s a reply under his original message. Niles’s handwriting is messy, but Sol can’t help thinking it’s actually kind of pretty. It’s obvious he’s an artist.

_ I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable, I didn’t know about your girlfriend. Are you sure you’re okay? _

_ I told you I’m fine. I should be the one apologizing. I think you have the wrong person, though. I don’t have a girlfriend? _

Oh? He doesn’t have a girlfriend? Then maybe Simone was thinking of someone else? Sol doesn’t know much about Niles so he doesn’t actually know if he hangs out with a cute light pink tiefling. He’s not about to ask. 

_ Well, I just wanted to say sorry, regardless. Doubly sorry that i had to do it on a piece of paper in the middle of class but you’re a sneaky one, Mr. Dayla. _

_ Why are you sorry???? _

Sol doesn’t understand why there’s several question marks. It’s right there at the beginning of the note: “s _ orry if I made you uncomfortable.”  _ Perhaps he got distracted with the mention of a girlfriend. He thinks maybe he should elaborate. 

_ I shouldn’t have taken your notebook, much less gone through it as thoroughly as I did. I should’ve stopped when I realized it wasn’t mine. And, from the way you ran away last week I probably said something inappropriate. Yes, you broke into my apartment  _ he thinks of asking how he did that. Even going as far as writing “how did you do that btw” before scratching it out, deciding he should focus on getting one answer at a time. _ but from what i gathered, you were trying to prevent me seeing your drawings. I guess it  _ ** _is _ ** _ weird that you’re the one that broke in and I’m the one trying to apologize, it’s just that when you didn’t come to class the next day I thought it was my fault. I thought you’d drop out of Poole’s class.  _ He wants to say more. He wants to say he would’ve felt guilty about it. He wants to say he would be sad about not seeing him anymore. He wants to say he would like them to at least be friends so he knows where to contact the tiefling outside of class but that would probably require some kind of explanation and right now Sol is confused about Niles’s life in general and he probably shouldn’t meddle into his relationships because they're almost complete strangers at this point.

The reply takes a while to come back. Sol is almost scared that will be the end of their conversation but he can see the tiefling doing doodles on his notes again and thinks it would be okay if he didn’t reply. 

_ You have nothing to apologize for. I did all of it to myself. I’m  _ ** _so _ ** _ sorry for everything. The drawings, following you, breaking in. You should be mad at me. _

Sol knows what to say to that. 

_ I’m not mad, I’m flattered. I meant it when I said I liked them, and not just because they’re of me. You’re good, Niles. _

He smiles as he slides the note back to his classmate, but the other one is looking at the professor, probably trying to not get distracted with some dumb conversation. Sol scolds himself for thinking he had any right to distract him during class. However the folded paper slides back to his side before he can slip into another anxious spiral.

_ Who are you, dude? _

Another easy one, Sol thinks.

_ Solus Lumun, but you can call me Sol :) _

When Niles reads the reply he snorts, and Sol has to do a great effort to not clutch his heart right then and there because it’s just so endearing and he wants to kiss the man’s cheeks.  _ Oh no. _

He freezes and looks back to where Poole is going on about Cassandra. He hopes he’s not blushing like he feels he is or that, if he is, Niles is actually paying attention to class and not him. He’s both a little grateful and a little disappointed when the piece of paper rests on the corner of the other table. Read but never replied to. 

When class is over Niles seems to be in a hurry to leave again. Sol tries to keep his stomach from turning when he notices, and instinctually calls after him as soon as he realizes the tiefling is no longer next to him. Niles stops and turns, shooting him a curious look. Sol realizes he had nothing to say so he apologizes for holding him back and waves him away before going back to zip his backpack. When he looks back up Niles is standing in front of him and this time he has to focus to keep the butterflies in his stomach from flying up and out of his mouth. 

“It’s okay, I have about a half hour before my next class. What’s up?”

Sol struggles for a split second to think of what to say but then it comes to him. He thanks the skies. “Oh, well it was silly, really. You never did answer my question,” he says, throwing his backpack over his shoulder and when Niles endearingly tilts his head and frowns in response he elaborates. “Are you an art major?”

“Ah, that. Yes. Technically I’m majoring in sculpture but I do have to draw a lot.” 

Sol notices the tiefling not looking directly at him and scratching the back of his neck. He just answers with a nod and an understanding ‘hmm’, it makes sense that he would have to be able to draw before sculpting. He hopes he gets to see one of his pieces someday. 

They walk leisurely side by side. Unfortunately Sol’s class is in the adjacent building so they say goodbye too quickly for his liking. He doesn’t get a chance to ask Niles to see his work. Later, he thinks it may have been for the best, since it seems the artist is shy about sharing his art. Sol smiles to himself thinking about it. He’ll have to earn his trust slowly. He already has some ideas.

* * *

Sol isn’t giddy. He’s not excited about class. He's not excited about the possibility of seeing the tiefling again. He’s perfectly normal. He’s cool and composed. He’s okay. 

He takes a deep breath as he walks through the classroom door.  _ He’s not here yet, _ he thinks.  _ Good. _ He sits and waits, willing his heart to slow, taking over his breath because his brain is not doing a great job at actually letting air come in before letting it out right now.

When Niles arrives he smiles up at him. “Good morning!”

Niles just grunts in response and Sol can see he still looks a bit disheveled from sleep. As he sits down, he turns to his own backpack to fish out the energy drink he remembered to take out of the fridge earlier today. 

“I got you a peace offering,” he says. Niles turns and chuckles when he sees the can Sol is holding. 

“Thank you,” it’s just above a whisper but Sol catches it.

“I know you think it’s the other way around and I will have to think of a way you can make it up to me but for now…” He’s not sure what he wants to say. “Well, just drink your terrible concoction.”

If he wasn’t so sleepy, Sol would think that the smile Niles flashes at him was actually a smirk. “Wanna give it a try?” he asks. As if Sol had a deathwish.

“Gods, no.”

Niles shrugs. “Your loss.” He takes a long swig and Sol tries not to shiver when he sees it but he can feel the chill running up his back. He can’t imagine the amount of caffeine running through the tiefling’s blood. When he’s done with his first sip, which apparently is enough to wake him up he continues. “Does this mean  _ I owe you  _ a peace offering?”

“Hmm. You did break into my apartment. It’s only fair.”

“Yeah, alright. What can I do for you, Mr. Lumun? Clean your apartment? Do your laundry? Something worse or more embarrassing?” 

Sol considers him for a second. Caffeine really changes this guy. He raises an eyebrow at him but continues casually as he takes another swig of the demonic drink. “I was actually thinking you could be my partner for our midterm presentations.” 

Niles coughs a little and once he’s done with it immediately pales. Sol is enjoying the show.

“Wait, what? I thought Professor Poole would give us a heads up two or three weeks before that?”

“He did. You weren’t here for it. Most people already have a partner. I thought you might not.”  _ Who’s the smug one now?, _ he thinks but doesn’t say.

“Dude, I didn’t even know! How much time do we have? What are we supposed to talk about?” Sol doesn’t know if it’s the panic or the caffeine or both but he can almost see the tiefling’s thoughts himself.

“Hey, it’s okay. I looked through your notes, you’ll do fine.” He tries to reassure him “We have until tomorrow to come up with a proposal, but we should be the first ones to call it before someone else gets dibs.”

Niles is quiet for a second and Sol fears he might not want to work with him. He might take his chances finding another partner or doing it on his own. He tries to take a few calming breaths again. 

The other man speaks up on his second exhalation. “Okay, sure,” he says nonchalantly. “Do you have any ideas? Should we uh, meet after class or something?”

Sol doesn’t sigh dreamily and he thinks he deserves at least some recognition for that restraint. He tries to stay casual. “Not really, I was worried you wouldn’t want to partner up with me and haven’t moved on to the next stage in planning.” He thinks he can catch the hint of a smile on Niles but it quickly changes to eyes closed shut and furrowed brows. He doesn’t know what to say when he looks back at him, so he just continues. “But yeah, getting together is a good idea. When are you free? I don’t actually have class after this but I’m also free after five any day.” He reminds himself that this is not them hanging out, this is classwork.

“Ah, well I don’t have class right now either, but I have a uh permanent lunch date and she would kill me if I showed up just to cancel, you know?” _She?_ _Permanent lunch date? Didn’t he say he doesn’t have a girlfriend. Solus, stop. Maybe she’s not his girlfriend _yet_. I should’ve stopped. _He decides it’s safer to stay quiet so he just nods. “I can make today or tomorrow after five, though,” Niles continues. “Where do you wanna meet?”

_ Ah, great question, Niles. _ The answer is easy. “Well, I was thinking my place. You already know where it is, and if we need to do some research, the public library’s not too far.” Sol stops himself from winking lest his partner regrets saying yes to working together and takes it back. 

Niles coughs a little again. Sol thinks he should stop drinking that terrible, corrupted drink. “Yeah, okay, sure. Your place is fine.”

Sol writes it down on his agenda, to make sure he won’t forget. Professor Poole walks in and greets the class before they can talk about something different, something unrelated to class but Sol hopes they’ll have time for that in the evening.


	3. Come and Meet Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ksjdfg why do my chapters always get longer as i go. pacing who? idk her

There’s a knock on the door. Sol takes a deep breath and tries to compose himself before opening it to let Niles in. Niles is standing just out the door but he looks like he didn’t mean to knock. Sol finds himself speaking before he can stop himself and that wipes the expression off the other man’s face.

“Welcome to my humble abode,” he says, adding an exaggerated bow for good measure. Maybe some humor will help with whatever the tiefling was thinking about. He thinks it works when he hears a snort. Niles walks in and looks around, Sol closes the door behind him.

“Dude, where’s all your furniture?” he asks.

Sol smiles. He hopes it doesn’t look as mischievous as it feels. “Ah, you see, someone broke in a few days ago and well… you know how it is.” He fears, for a moment after saying it, that Niles will get worried about Sol bringing that up but the tiefling chuckles, and Sol’s heart soars.

“I’m serious. You live like this?” Niles points at Sol’s couch, crowded with books and zero sitting space. He’s probably thinking the books could go with the rest, on the floor, but Sol would disagree. Those books have earned their place on the couch. He explains he’s never home which means he doesn’t actually need to use the couch, just the bed, and occasionally the kitchen.

Then Niles asks, ““So, uh, do we sit on the floor? I wouldn’t want to sit on your books, to be honest.” And now Sol knows he’s perfect. He has enough self control to only chuckle, forgoing kissing red cheeks and lips. He thinks that may be a bit much.

“Well, thank you for that. The books and I appreciate it.” he catches Niles rolling his eyes. He doesn’t mind it. “Actually, we could work in the kitchen? I only have one chair but I can sit on the counter or the floor. Or,” he says, as an idea breaks out of its egg inside his brain. “We could work in the bedroom, the bed is pretty big and I like to spread out my notes and papers and whatnot. Up to you.” He waits for an answer, watching carefully for any sign the tiefling might give him but he’s turned away, looking out the window. Sol thinks he sees cheeks darken but can’t tell for sure. Why did he have to go and fall for the guy with the most indistinguishable blush? There’s gotta be another way to find out how he feels about him. If only he would turn back around.

“The kitchen sounds nice,” Niles says finally, and Sol pretends he’s not disappointed. Maybe that’s the sign he’d been waiting for. His mind is foggy for a moment but he can hear something about snacks and goes to work on that. He focuses intensely on the glasses of water he pours, hoping that won’t let him think of the way he completely misread Niles. He mentions something about taking the counter to sit on and when Sol shoots him a curious look he answers “I’m not big on chairs, or anything that’s designed for people to sit on.” Sol is laughing, every anxious thought slipping his mind. He sets the glasses down on the table and grabs some chips for both of them.

Then Sol sits down at the table and Niles puts two folders next to him. He reaches for them without even thinking about it. The first thing in the folder is a portrait of a beautiful tiefling. She’s smiling, almost looks like she was caught mid-laugh. She’s looking off to the side. If Sol had to guess he’d say she’s standing under a tree, because the shadows on her face look almost like leaves. He unconsciously lifts a hand and goes to trace the face sitting in front of him but catches himself before touching the paper.

Niles is looking at him. Intently. He doesn’t have to look up to know that there’s a set of piercing eyes on him.

“I’m sorry,” he says, snapping the folder shut. “I shouldn’t... I- I should stop going through your stuff, huh?” he laughs nervously.

The tiefling seems to relax when he laughs. “I-It’s fine. I’m sorry, that’s my homework, not really useful right now,” he says, taking the folder back.

“Homework?” he didn’t mean to ask but he’s so surprised that that kind of quality is homework.

“Yeah, we’re supposed to practice lighting?” he explains. “I did this one in the morning so I have to do the other one later tonight or in a different place or with someone else. As long as the light hits differently, you know?”

“Hmm.” That explains the drawing, the detail in the shadows. “She’s pretty. Is she always your model?” he asks before he can stop himself. He hopes the question is not too invasive for the shy artist.

Apparently it’s okay because the tiefling answers casually. “Mhm, most of the time, yeah. It’s hard to find folks who will let you draw them and I’ve drawn Gail for so long she’s gotten used to standing still for longer than five minutes. And, you know, not everyone is comfortable with being stared at for long periods of time.”

“Ah, I see.” He wants to ask if he’s done sculptures of her. He wants to say he wouldn’t mind being stared at, or staying still for as long as it took. He wants to ask why her and not him. He wants to ask if he’d want to use him as the model for the other half of his homework but he’s interrupted before he can decide which question he should pose first.

“Anyways, here’s the folder that we can actually use and my notes. Have you given any thought to what you would like to do?”

They discuss possible topics for a while and finally settle on working with Antigone. When they start going over the plot and what they would do for their presentation Niles flips open his notebook. They’ve shifted places and are now both sitting cross legged on the kitchen floor so Sol has free access to glance over the other’s notebook drawings.

“Can I ask you something?” he says.

“Sure, what is it?” Niles says, still looking for his notes on the play.

“Why?”

“Why what? Why did she bury Polyneices? or why was that terrible crime punished with execution?”

“Why did you draw me?” Niles immediately stops moving.

“Oh,” is all he says. Sol can’t take his eyes off him, he’s trying to figure out what he’s thinking or feeling or something but the tiefling is a brick wall. Sol needs him to talk.

“And why did you stop after I saw them?” It sounds harsher than he intended it to and Niles seems to shrink a little at the question.

When he talks, he doesn’t answer.

“I’m sorry,” is what comes out of his mouth and it just puzzles Sol all that much more.

“Why are you sorry?”

“Drawing you? Being a creep?” Sol sighs. He can’t believe that’s what he thinks of himself.

He puts a hand on his shoulder to comfort him or keep him grounded, he’s not sure but Niles looks like he’s about to take off running and that’s the last thing Sol wants.

“Hey, man, sorry. Hey, look at me.” Niles doesn’t look up. Sol panics. “Fuck, here, drink some water.” He nudges his glass close to the other’s hand but he’s still frozen over. “We don’t have to talk about it. I’m so sorry. I know some people are private about their art, I shouldn’t have peeked at your folder earlier and I shouldn’t have asked.” Niles is still not responding and Sol is starting to get extremely worried. He’s rubbing circles on his back. “I’m so sorry. Gods, I’m really sorry, Niles. Do you want me to go?”

The tiefling finally looks up. His head is tilted curiously. Sol is starting to get used to that. But not to the fresh trail of water the tears that rolled down his cheeks left. His heart breaks a little.

“What?” Niles says, and the orc is not sure if it’s aggressive or protective but it’s not a voice he’s heard before. He should be careful.

“Do you want to be left alone or do you want me to stay here? I’ll be quiet.” He’s stopped rubbing circles on his back, pulling the hand away but he doesn’t dare do any other movement in case he scares off the artist again.

“I’m-” he takes a deep breath, looking at Sol straight in the eyes. “I don’t understand you.” The bluntness surprises Sol but he appreciates it.

“Well,” he says as softly as he can. “What do you want to know?”

Niles becomes a blur. He stands up, stuffs his bag, slings it over his shoulder and starts making his way to the door. Sol has a hard time catching up. He stands up as well, words are coming out of his mouth but he’s stumbling over them. He extends a hand trying to catch the other’s arm, shirt, anything. But his lag doesn’t let him. He hears the soft thud of the door closing and he’s left alone in his apartment. He can’t tell which emotion is stronger; the anger at himself that he was too much yet again and scared Niles off, or the sadness and hurt that he’s alone again when just a few minutes earlier he was in the tiefling’s warm company. He curses as he puts his notebook away.

He’s sad, he realizes when he’s picking up stray papers. He was hoping they’d get to hang out for longer. He had even let himself hope he’d be asked to model for that other portrait. He’s upset he hoped for so much and got so little. He let himself forget that Niles is sensitive about his art, because he got too caught up in it. He wholeheartedly believes it’s some of the best art he’s ever seen. He wishes he could see something more than homeworks and class doodles. He’s afraid he’ll never get that chance. Especially now, after this mess.

He feels like screaming but he doesn’t want to deal with his neighbors complaining. Instead, he changes clothes, grabs the duffel bag sitting in his closet, makes sure he’s got everything he may need and leaves for the gym.

An hour later he’s sweating, his thoughts have calmed down, going from a class 4 tornado to a tropical storm. When he smiles at a joke he realizes he’s feeling much better so he heads for the showers.

Sol goes back to the gym the next three days in a row.

* * *

Sol is starting to think Niles is not going to show to class again. Class has barely started but he’s thinking he really messed up and this time he will definitely drop the class. But then he’s there, standing just a few feet away and saying good morning.

Sol has to straighten up and when he says good morning quietly the tiefling only mouths his own greeting. He’s not sure what he’s thinking and he’s almost afraid. He takes the opportunity that Niles fishing for his notebook provides to place the can of energy drink on his table. He’d attached a little post-it note to it earlier in preparation.

He sighs in relief when he hears the hiss of it being opened and then poured into a thermos. A piece of paper is slid over to his table and he reads it.

Thank you. You didn’t have to.

He hadn’t expected this. He’s not ready for it. He doesn’t know what to say, or if he should even say something. He doesn’t and by the time he thinks he should explain it’s been too long and distracting Niles with it now would probably just be rude. He gives it up. He’s not really paying attention to class. He may need to go back to the gym in the afternoon.

When Poole dismisses class something takes over Sol. His hand acts on its own, grabbing Niles’s arm like he’d tried to do on Friday. Except this time, it catches its target and Niles is now stopping to look at him. Sol quickly drops his hand and looks away.

“Are you okay?” Niles asks, and Sol hopes the worry in his voice is the kind that says he care for him and not the kind that says he thinks he’s crazy.

“Huh? Uh, yeah. Sorry about...that. You can go. You have lunch, right? Don’t keep that pretty girl waiting.” He wants to punch himself. He wants to run away and never come back. He wants to redo this whole day all over again.

When he looks up, he finds Niles giving him the now familiar, curious, tilted-head look.

“Do you want to come with? I mean, if you don’t have class right now?”

Now, that’s new. Sol doesn’t know what to say. Yes, he wants to. He would love to have lunch with Niles. He would be thrilled to find out who the girl from the portraits is. Who she really is to Niles. He comes back into himself and sees Niles still waiting for an answer so he simply says “Sure.”

Sol can see the light pink tiefling waving from the moment they walk into the cafeteria. When they are close enough to hear her she yells out “Hi!” Niles waits a few more steps for introductions.

“Hey, Gail. Uh, this is Sol. Sol this is Abigail, she’s my best friend.” he says.

Best friend, the hopeful voice in his head remarks. Sol ignores it and extends a hand which Abigail takes.

“It’s so nice to meet you, Sol. Niles told me you’re working on a presentation together, right?” she asks. Sol doesn’t have time to process her enthusiasm, his mind is still running with the words ‘best friend’ it feels like there’s so much going on.

“Uh, yeah. Nice to meet you too.”

“Oh, hold on,” she says. “You’re gonna want to get something to eat. I ordered for me and Niles but I didn’t know you were coming.”

“Ah,” he says, waving a hand dismissively. “Don’t worry. I’ll be right back,” he says, already making his way to the counter.

He tries his best not to look back, but the friends are already talking to each other and don’t notice his careful glances. He orders a sandwich and goes back to his seat quickly, before he wakes up from this dream.

Abigail speaks as soon as he sits down. “So, are you two going to work on the presentation now? Should I leave you to it?”

Ah, that explains it. He doesn’t want to meet up outside of school. Sol doesn’t know what to say so he just stutters and looks at Niles for help.

“For now, we can just have lunch. Can’t think on an empty stomach.” he says. It’s not exactly reassuring, but it helps Sol.

Abigail hums and nods. When she turns to look at Sol there’s something about her eyes that make him suddenly feel like prey. “So, tell me about yourself, what are you majoring in?” she asks innocently but Sol still feels uneasy. He steals a quick look at Niles, but he’s just sitting there, wearing a poker face.

“I’m, uh, I’m in History.” He takes a deep breath, willing himself to calm down and stop embarrassing himself with the nervousness and the stuttering. “How about you?”

“Oh, I’m in Astronomy. Stars and all that.” She’s easy to talk to, Sol thinks. He relaxes a little more. Plus, he’s now genuinely interested.

“Woah! Hey, I’ve always wondered: do they make you learn the names of constellations?” he asks. She laughs and explains that it’s not an obligation but it is encouraged to know at least some of them. He keeps looking over at Niles, hoping he will join in the conversation at any given moment, but he’s still just sitting there, arms crossed, letting his friend take over for now.

They talk briefly about her classes and someone comes with their food before she smoothly changes the conversation to Niles and his art. Sol is thankful that the tiefling has to talk now. He mentions his professor liking his homework but being unhappy with his use of the same model.

“I told you not to do me twice!” Abigail chastises him. “You need new models.” That’s when the wheels start turning for Sol.

Niles talks about not being able to pay for models. Sol didn’t even know they had to pay for it but after brief consideration it makes sense. He stops listening for a moment and when he comes back the other two are quiet so he just blurts it out.

“I can do it.”

“Do what?” Abigail asks.

“Model. For Niles.”

“What? Sol, you don’t have to. Please don’t.” Niles’s answer sounds shocked, but it still hurts.

“Why not?” he insists, like a madman. “I like your art. You need a model. You’ve done it before.” He can’t stop himself.

“Y- Well, yeah. But never anything serious. I- Why?”

“Why what?”

“Why would you want to model for me?” He wants to shake the tiefling awake. He wants to shake some sense into him, make him see how great and inspiring his art is.

“Why not?” he says simply.

“That’s not what I asked.” Sol shrugs, because he doesn’t know how to explain every thought that’s running through his mind.

“Anyways,” Abigail starts after a moment of silence.

“Gail,” Niles interrupts her and shakes his head.

“Niles, don’t.” She’s quick to answer. Sol wonders what this conversation is actually about.

“Gail,” he repeats. His voice sounds different. Like a hiss, or a growl, there’s something primal about it Sol can’t quite place.

He watches the exchange as an outsider. He can tell they’re having a much deeper conversation, their eyes locked, their faces twitching slightly in expressions only they can understand. He’s not sure he should interrupt but things look tense so he does it anyway.

“How long have you two known each other?” he asks now focusing on his plate.

After a moment of silence Niles speaks up. “About... 15 years? Since kindergarten.”

“Sixteen,” Abigail corrects.

Sol nods. “That’s a long time.”

“Yeah, sometimes I’m surprised we’re still friends.” Abigail says, she smiles fondly at Niles. They clearly love each other. None of this makes sense. He looks from one to the other. He needs answers.

“I hope you don’t mind my asking but, why aren’t you dating?”

Niles sputters his drink and Abigail laughs. Sol still doesn’t understand. Why would that be funny?

“Oh, you’re serious. I’m sorry, I just... “ she looks at Niles and Sol follows. Niles looks uncomfortable and Sol regrets asking already. He keeps doing this. Abigail addresses him again. “I can’t be the one to tell you.”

Tell me what? he wants to say, but he can’t. He doesn’t want Niles to feel as uncomfortable as he looks. He looks cornered and Sol is already scolding himself for doing this yet again.

Niles steels himself. He looks Sol straight in the eyes and that’s enough to keep him in place. Quiet. The tiefling takes a few deep breaths. The orc waits patiently. Abigail leans back on her chair like a lioness watching over her kittens’ first hunt. Ready to intervene at the first sign of danger.

“I’m gay.”

Oh.

Sol feels like a fool. He is a fool. And judging from the change in the atmosphere… he made a mistake again. Niles looks like he wasn’t ready to say what he just said. Abigail looks like she could jump across the table and slit Sol’s throat at the first indication of him having a remotely negative reaction. The orc doesn’t know where to look so he looks at the wall behind Abigail. There’s a clock there. The clock that may just save his life. His eyes go wide, it’s almost time for his next class. His next class that is across campus. Shit.

He still feels like he should say something to acknowledge the information he’s received. He can’t decide if he should try to be funny about it or apologize so he does both.

“Yeah, that’ll do it. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to intrude in your lives like this. I-” He’s doing a terrible job at this. He’s never gonna be friends with these people, he’s almost positive. He pauses in his rushing mind for a moment, placing a hand over Niles’s where it sits on the table. “Thank you for trusting me, Niles,” he says as sincerely as he can. He still can’t read the other guy’s face. “I have class across campus in ten minutes but if you wanna work on the presentation this evening, I’ll be home.”

He picks up his dirty plate and his backpack and leaves. He’s cursing himself as he leaves the vicinity. He stops about halfway through campus considering going back, skipping class to spend some more time with the pair. That’s when it hits him. He definitely messed up. It was the perfect opportunity but he was too fucking starstruck to say something as simple as ‘me too’.

He’s talking to himself, out loud, when he enters the classroom.

“That’s great, Niles! Me too! I’m gay, we should date! Gods, you suck, Solus.”

“That’s a bit harsh,” someone comments and Sol can feel blush rising to his cheeks. He looks for the source of the voice and finds Sorah. The human is sitting, notebook and pen already out in front of him. “Care to share with the class?” he asks, raising an eyebrow, and chewing on his pen. Sol hates him when he’s all smug like he knows everything. He sighs and sits down next to him.

“I’m an idiot, that’s all.” he deadpans.

“And why is that?” Sorah looks at him expectantly. He’s always been patient, a great listener. Sol gives in.

“You know Niles? The one from my classical literature class?”

“The one Frog thinks is dating the cute girl from his Math class?”

“Yeah, him.”

“What about him?” he asks, and Sol can tell he knows more than he’s letting on.

“Rah,”

“What?” Sorah continues to feign innocence but a chuckle escapes him.

“Fuck you,” Sol says but continues anyway. “So I-”

“Have a huge crush on the guy?” the human interrupts. “Did you finally confess your undying love? Is that why you’re late?”

“I’m not late, there’s still two minutes until class starts.”

“Yeah, but you’re always here at least ten minutes earlier.”

“Maybe I went to the bathroom, or to the library.”

“That’s not the point. What happened?”

“Well, we’re working together on a mid-term presentation.” Sorah raises his eyebrows, an unspoken insinuation. “It’s not like that. And it never will be if I keep...doing things.” the confused look on his friend’s face prompts him to continue. “I don’t know what it is, but I know I’m doing something wrong.” Sol tries to retell what happened on Friday and then their earlier lunch as best he can. Their professor is usually late but by the time he’s done they probably have only a minute or two left before class starts.

“Shit, Sol, I don’t know what to tell you.” He places a hand on his shoulder and squeezes it. “Are you going to see him today?”

“Ye-... I don’t know. I told him to come over again but....I honestly don’t know if he will. He might just not and ask Poole to let him work by himself.”

“I still can’t believe you left right when he came out to you, I could’ve shared my notes with you. You know Silas is always late.”

“I know, I know. Don’t you think I know that?” Sol rubs circles between his eyebrows and takes a deep breath. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay, I would be upset too.” Sorah squeezes his shoulder again. Sol can only manage to give him a weak smile before Professor Silas walks in and greets them. She looks disheveled, like she ran to class, and it makes Sol feel a little bit better.

* * *

Sol goes home right after class. He changes into sweatpants instead of just taking off his pants and lounging in his underwear, just in case Niles does show up.

The knock on the door startles him. He was hoping it would come, but he wasn’t really expecting it. He takes a deep breath to steel himself before opening the door. The tiefling stands there, he almost looks like he might be in pain. They say hello and walk to the kitchen to start working. Niles looks tense. Sol focuses on their work but in the back of his mind there’s Sorah telling him to apologize and try again.

After a while he suggests they take a break and stretch a little. Niles agrees almost immediately and Sol can’t help the strings that pull at his heart. It takes him a while to gather the courage to speak up.

“Hey, Niles?” he says, a bit more softer than usual. He needs to be careful not to scare him off again.

“Hm?”

“I’m sorry about this morning.”

Niles tilts his head to one side. Sol hopes he never stops doing that. “What do you mean?”

He squints at him for a split second and does his best to explain. “I shouldn’t have pried into your lives like I did. You and Abigail’s, your relationship is yours and none of my business. You invited me to lunch and I overstepped my boundaries. You didn’t have to feel obligated to come out to me. You could’ve just told me to stop sticking my nose where it doesn’t belong.” He takes a deep breath. Preparing for every possibility.

“It’s fine, man.” He wasn’t prepared for that one. “I’m out, so I'm used to it. I wouldn’t have told you if I wasn’t or if I didn't feel safe.” Sol tries not to focus too much on the fact that Niles almost said he feels safe with him. “I was a bit scared you might react negatively and even ask me to not do the presentation anymore but Gail was there, so I was okay.” Sol realizes he must look ridiculously dumbfounded and he sighs in relief after a moment of silence but the tiefling is not even looking at him. Then he remembers.

“Oh, gods, you must’ve thought I hated you.” He says, before he can really think about it and Niles looks up so suddenly it almost startles him. “I left immediately after, didn’t I? I’m such a jerk, I’m so sorry Niles. I keep messing up. You’ll never want to be friends with me. I’ll just be that weird guy from Classical Lit.” He didn’t mean to spill everything out like this. For a moment he’s scared that Niles will just run away again. He’s not prepared for the tenderness that seeps into the other man’s voice when he speaks.

“You want to be friends with me?” he asks. “After I broke into you house to steal back my notebook, which, by the way, was full of doodles of you? That I drew without you even knowing I existed?”

Sol looks at him, searching his eyes for a hint of an answer. It’s starting to make sense. Niles isn’t embarrassed of his art. He’s embarrassed the person he’d been drawing caught him.

“You think I’m an idiot,” he says. Because Niles must surely think so. Only an idiot would want to be friends with the person that broke into their home.

“No, no…” Once again Sol fears the tiefling might get up and bolt out. This would be easier on his heart if he really wanted to be just friends. “I just can’t figure you out, Solus Lumun.” He wishes he’d call him his full name more often. He likes the way it sounds as it leaves his lips.

“I told you already. Whatever you want to know, just ask me.” Sol lets a smile escape. Niles leans in a little bit without breaking eye contact. Sol is not sure if the rise in the temperature is his own blush or the tiefling’s warmth.

“Why did you offer to model for me?” he says and he’s squinting, like he’s analyzing Sol now. Sol who now can definitely feel heat rising to his face and wishes he had the other’s dark red skin so it wouldn’t be obvious. He tries to stay calm under the scrutinizing eyes.

“I told you. I like your art. I like the way you draw, the way you draw me. Honestly, I thought you might let me keep one of the portraits if you decided they didn’t fit your portfolio. You don’t have to of course, it’s your work, and I’d happily save up for a commission.”

“You don’t think it’s creepy that I drew you for weeks without your knowledge or permission?”

This time it’s Sol’s turn to squint. “No. I think it’s flattering. Felt like I was your muse.” He can’t catch himself before the last sentence comes out but the other man just hums. “Which is why I’ve been trying to make amends. You stopped. You didn’t stop drawing me, you just stopped drawing and I feel I might be responsible for it. At least in class.”

“Oh,” the tiefling sounds surprised but Sol has no idea what could have possibly surprised him. They both stay quiet for a little bit before he half-heartedly says, “It’s okay.” He doesn’t believe him for a second. He looks away before he says anything else. “I still draw. I’ve just limited myself to one or two doodles in class.”

Sol wants to say so much. He wants to give him permission to draw him as much as he wants. He wants to ask him to draw him just one more time. He wants to ask if he was ever anything close to a muse. He wants to ask the real reason why he stopped drawing. He wants to say he loved every single doodle he saw. He wants to try explaining what it felt like to be captured on paper. He stays quiet instead, his eyes fixed somewhere across the room. He wouldn’t know where to start. He’s terrified of making him run away once again. He thinks he should let it all go and let them focus on the assignment.

“If I draw you for my next assignment, can we start over?” Niles really keeps surprising him more and more every day. He can’t help the smile that threatens to split his face.

Sol agrees all too easily, but there was no way he would have turned that down. Niles warns him that he’s going to have to sit still for a long time and he suggests to read some excerpts from the play they’re working on so they both feel like they haven’t stopped working on the presentation entirely.

Sol reads and Niles draws. None of them know how long they stay like that. At least one whole act. Sol can’t stop smiling as he reads the tragedy and Niles teases him for it without lifting his eyes from where he’s sketching the orc. Sol steals glances at the artist as discreetly as he can. He sneaks a few glances out the window where he can see the sun making its way down into the horizon. He wants to keep the memory of the last few hours forever.

Niles finishes his drawing but he doesn’t let Sol see it. Says something about having his professor approve it. Sol gives him a look that he hopes says ‘You’re lucky I’m too tired to argue’ but isn’t sure how well it translates. Niles mentions getting together some other day and Sol is too quick to say they can do it again tomorrow. He doesn’t have time to worry about it because the tiefling agrees and Sol would swear the corners of his mouth lift ever so slightly. He hopes he’s right.

Sol tries to act nonchalant about the whole thing but when Niles leaves he stares at the closed door for several moments. He’s not sure if he’s trying to process the evening or if he’s hoping the tiefling forgot something and is coming back. Or better yet, he’s coming back just to spend some more time with Sol.

You’re a lost cause, Solus, he thinks to himself as he sighs. He eats a quick dinner and showers before bed. There’s a lot of red in his dreams.


End file.
